Our New (Parenthood) Life
It all started the other night when I crawled into bed, weary but more fulfilled than I ever had been. I laid there, with not even the energy to roll over and face my husband, and so I looked up past the ceiling as if I was speaking to the heaven's, and I whispered, "when we're 95, sitting outside, drinking the lemonade you made, we're going to know that we've lived a good life." These are the days, as battered as we may feel at times and as tiring as they leave us, these are the days.
Our new life is parenthood.
Our new life is sacrifice.
I'm quickly discovering that time is not waiting for me to get a grip on parenthood. Time could care less about our agendas, so we make it work, we sacrifice many things at many different times -- but mostly in this chapter of our lives it is always sleep. Sacrifice is perhaps the greatest gift we give. Sacrifice has a way of molding and shaping us into people that we never could of transformed into without it.
Children change your life, and at first it can be hard -- actually most of the time it can be hard -- and that's okay, there's nothing wrong with that because in it is evidence that there is a transformation taking place; adjusting, stretching, molding, changing. Parenthood is surrendering ordinary and stagnant routine, because instead you have now committed to being always in progress, willing and waiting for the next phase of transforming.
The question that keeps getting asked, "What's something you wish you knew before becoming parents?" and this is a question where I always feel like I'm searching the answers for. I don't think you really can know parenthood until you've held that little being in your arms, and they smile at you for the first time, or they reach up and grab your finger, holding onto you with every ounce of strength their tiny bodies can muster. Parenthood is more of an individualized metamorphasis than I fathomed. Parenthood is also really just another word for complete and utter sacrifice, and it is also the vessel for the most pure joy you will ever feel. Parenthood is the greatest test of invention, adaption, and the need to listen more intently than you ever have to still small inner voice.
Parenthood has given me the best days of my life-- the hardest days, but nevertheless I know they are the best days of my life. As parenthood continues to shape us, and encourages us to be more -- to love more than we knew we were ever capable of, I say to you with all the joy I in my motherly body, these are the days. These are the days I will look back on when I'm 95 and I see my grandchildren growing before my very eyes. These are the days I will hope for, for my own children to experience with their spouses. These are the days I will hold closer to my heart, these are the days I wished for, without knowing it. These are the days I will cherish, these are the days I will keep.